Because I love you
by Griffenhippo
Summary: In a world where Albus Dumbledore destroys Voldemort, just as Lily and James came out of their last year of Hogwarts, things are different. James, horrified by what he has seen in the war, leaves Lily suddenly without any warning. Now, 10 years later, he turns up on her doorstep, on her wedding anniversary."The course of true love never did run smooth." James mumbles. James/Lily AU
1. Beginning Again

**In a world where Albus Dumbledore 'destroys' Voldemort, just as Lily and James came out of their last year of Hogwarts, things are different. James, horrified by what he has seen in the war, leaves Lily suddenly without any warning. Now, 10 years later, he turns up on her doorstep, on her wedding anniversary. " "The course of true love never did run smooth." James mumbles, and in that moment, Lily truly understands that damned saying. And then she thinks…..now what?** " **James/Lily AU**

1989

Lily still remembers it vividly; even though it was ten years before. It's as if she's watching a movie, the memory eclipsing any other pain she's felt before. At night it's especially horrible. Without his arms there to comfort her, Lily is left to the pain of that night. She wakes up, and it's ten times worse, because she just relived the most painful moment, her worst nightmare ever, and he's not there to calm her down, to tell her it was just a dream Lils, nothing more.

If you loved me, then why leave?

Why, why why?

James- why did you leave me?

The question haunts her the same time every year. Often she's able to put it out of her mind for a while, and she enjoys this life she's created, loves it. She's finally happy, and she's not going to let anything ruin that.

But every year, this year, she can't help but wonder what would have happened had he not left.

Lily turns over on her side, her husband's arm resting comfortably around her. She pecks his cheek, and smooths back his hair, before getting out of bed quietly. Making her way downstairs, (intent on making herself a nice warm cup of hot cocoa) Lily gazes at the dark sitting room, and shivers when a flash of lightning illuminates the room. Thunder rumbles, and she almost doesn't hear the timid knocking on the door. But she does, and that is her first mistake.

She makes her way to the door, and opens it, wand out. She's still so cautious, even after all these years. However nothing prepares her, nothing at all. The sight that greets her will send her reeling, back, back into the past.

Because James Potter, the man she once loved so fiercely until he disappeared for no reason, is sitting on her doorstep, gazing up at her, his rain splattered hair stuck to his skull.

Lily screams.

* * *

1976 ~ 1977

After the war, it isn't uncommon for Lily to find James sitting by the fire in the common room. So she makes sure that she checks up on him, whenever she hears him pad past her room (she's a very light sleeper) in the middle of the night.

James saw things that Lily didn't. Lily witnessed horrific and horrible scenes; true, but James was the right hand man, the other savior, the spy of Albus Dumbledore. James had gone through more than Lily could ever imagine.

So she comforts him with kisses and words that only she can say. She never thought she'd love James as fiercely as she does; he was always the one to love her to the point of worship. But now the tables are turned, and Lily finds herself sinking deeper and deeper into despair as James becomes a shell of the man he used to be, and begins to simply….ignore her.

"James….talk to me." She says one night, slipping her arm around his shoulders and leaning her head on his shoulder. "I want to know what's going on." Her eyes sting slightly.

He removes her arm gently, and shifts away from her. "Lily, I don't want to."

Eventually, she gives up, and the footsteps that echo in the hallway each night just become another sound to ignore.

* * *

The night before they graduate, Lily explodes.

It happens like this; James is humming to himself, happily, messing around with his snitch. He looks so happy; a change from the previous months- and just so sudden, so soon. And Lily, writing letters home, trying trying to fix things with Petunia, who's getting married in a week, and Lily's not invited to the wedding.

And James is just sitting there, happy as anything. Lily just can't help it; she's been miserable as well these past months with Petunia, with her parents (who are growing more distant with Lily, who are now scared of magic) but she's put James before her. And she just can't stop the feeling of resentment, that she's in pain as well, but that James just doesn't care.

The breaking point comes when suddenly her owl flies into the room, with a letter from Petunia.

Lily,

Stop sending that owl here. I told you, I don't want you at my wedding. I won't tell you the address; and don't try and find it with your freaky magic either. If you do, then I'll never talk to you again. Actually, I would prefer you not to talk to me at all unless it concerns Mum and Dad. For the sake of our parents I will be cordial for you whenever we are in the same house together; but now that I don't live in the same house as you anymore, I don't see the reason for us to carry on pretending like we actually feel like sisters.

Don't try and blame this on me; you know what you did.

Petunia Evans

Her relationship with Petunia had been deteriorating rapidly ever since the War had started. And then there had been the incident. But Lily hates to think of the incident, so she blocks it out of her mind, and instead focuses all of her rage on James.

Lily stalks over to where he is sitting in their shared Head's common room, and snatches the snitch.

"Why are you so happy, suddenly?" Lily asks, her voice dangerously low.

James looks bemused. "I'm sorry?" Then he chuckles. "You've got ink smeared on your cheek- someone's obviously being a bit of a daydreamer." He teases lightly.

Suddenly everything just turns red, and Lily can't feel, can't think. Everything's boiled over and it's all James's fault, that he isn't there for her either, that they were supposed to fall madly in love, get married, and just be happy but god dammit he's ruining it and it's all HIS FAULT!

"I HATE YOU!" She screams.

James stands up suddenly and abruptly, the good humor gone from his face. "What did I do?" He says weakly.

She stands opposite him, breathing heavily. "Why are you suddenly so happy? WHY?" She's so confused, everything's just melting together and all she can feel is anger anger anger.

"Lily-"

"Why don't you care about me anymore?" It's a dangerous whisper. "For months all I've done is care for you, god dammit, and you've just been so morose, so unhappy. And now, suddenly everything is fine again? Don't you care about me?"

Suddenly she's in James's arms, pressed up against his chest as he holds her. She pounds her fists weakly against his chest, but soon gives up and just sobs.

"What happened?" James says quietly, his head resting on top of hers. "Was it Snape?"

"No!" Lily chokes out quickly, not surprised however that James would suddenly jump to that conclusion. "No...It's Petunia."

She feels herself being led to the sofa, and then James is gone. She hears the crackle of paper, and realises all too late that James is reading the letter.

"No!" She jumps up and tries to grab it from him, but he dances out of the way, his face dark.

"How dare she." The words are so quiet at first that Lily doesn't hear them. "How dare she!"

"James?"

"Does she even know what you've been through? For her? For her kind?" James spits.

Lily recoils, and James, seeing her reaction is quick to assure her.

"No no no, I don't mean it like that Lily. I, um, I love muggles!" He says, and chuckles weakly. Lily sniffs and wipes her tears away. ''Oh Lily...Don't pay any attention to that wretched sister of yours."

Lily gazes up at him. She doesn't care anymore, doesn't want to talk about Petunia. "James….what happened?"

James looks at her, slightly confused. "Huh?"

Lily looks down at her hands. "James….you know what I mean."

James's eyes harden slightly. "I don't want to talk about the war, Lily."

Lily sighs. "James, you've become a shadow of your former self! What happened to you? What happened to us? Do…." She bites her lip. "Do you still even care?"

James rushes to her side almost immediately, and for a second he is her James again, the one that she fell in love with. "No, Lily, of course I still love you. It's just that…" He runs his hand through his hair, a gesture that usually Lily hates- but seeing him just act so- so- James like, she doesn't care the slightest.

"I'm sorry Lils. I can't - I won't- tell you. I saw things that…" He shudders. "I'm sorry Lily. I'm so, so sorry."

Lily caresses his face gently, her eyes softening. "What can I do?" She says, softly.

James's eyes meet her own, and Lily knows that he's begun to heal, that they still have each other- that he's not lost.

"Just...stay."

And so she does.

* * *

They move into a small house together, after graduation. Lily knows that normally people would think it scandalous that she and James are living together, and not married- but the fact that the two of them are such prominent figures from the war, and that the wizarding world is in such a turmoil- people either don't care or just don't notice.

James is beginning to heal, and the light returns to his eyes. Sirius, Remus and Peter are regular visitors to their little home in Godric's Hollow, and Lily is content- finally. She studies for her Potions Mastery at home.

They live there happily, for two years. James is in training to become an Auror, and it seems that finally finally the shadows that the war cast is going to fade away and be the past and nothing more.

And, Lily feels as if nothing could bring her down when one day, on a quiet Thursday afternoon, James gets down on one knee and proposes to her. She says yes, of course, happy tears mixing in with those of James's as they kiss each other.

Lily throws herself into planning for her wedding, and they set the date, two months from then. Truth be told, the two of them are scared, scared that something like the war might happen again and that they'll be lost to each other forever. Lily's parents complain about her marrying so young, but when she quietly sits them down and tells them all she's seen in the war, all James has seen in the war, they finally understand that Lily isn't just 20 years old. She's much older, much wiser, and that she knows that James is the one for her and nothing can change that.

Lily invites Petunia to her wedding, even though James protests.

"James, she's my sister." Lily says seriously, when James spots the silver and white envelope on the pile. "I don't care what she's done in the past- we're still family."

"Family doesn't do what she did, Lily." He says quietly as he watches the owl fly out of the house. "And you know that-"

"That she'll say no?" Lily interrupts. "Of course I do. But… I won't be like her James. I won't be petty and bitchy. When the time comes, and trust me, it will, Petunia will want to have her sister back. Petunia is full of sharp words, and jealousy, and spite, but you know what? For years, whenever the other kids teased me when I did some accidental magic, she was the one that would threaten them if they called me freak. She was my big sister, my protector James. And- only when envy reared it's ugly head did she turn into...the person she is now. But I know that Tuney will come back in the end James. Ok?" Lily's blinking back tears at this point.

James grabs her up into a hug. "Shhh, it's ok, I understand. I'm sorry." He says quietly.

Lily cuddles into his chest, and their spat is forgotten.

* * *

It happens a week before the wedding. Lily goes out shopping, and when she comes back, everything seems normal.

James isn't there.

Lily frowns when she can't find him- he kissed her goodbye at the door just a half an hour before. So she assumes that maybe he popped round to Peter's (He and Remus are rooming together have bought a house just down the street- something that Sirius is deadly jealous of) which he does occasionally. So she pours herself a generous amount of wine, starts dinner….and waits.

And waits….

And waits….

At around two o' clock in the morning, Lily is ready to kill James. So, she stomps her way over to Remus and Peter's, and demands that he comes home.

"Lily….he isn't here." Peter says, yawning. "I'm sorry, maybe he went out for drink with Sirius...and well." Peter rolls his eyes as if to say that maybe the pair were a little bit tipsy and lost track of time.

Lily smiles, albeit slightly nervously. "Sorry for waking you up. I'll just….yell at him tomorrow then." She sighs. James has some explaining to do.

Lily falls asleep on the sofa, her dinner uneaten. She expects that she'll wake up to the sound of James stomping into the house, his warm breath tickling her ear as he whispers goodnight….but only when the sunlight streaming through the window hits her directly in the face, does she realise something is wrong.

Lily sits bolt upright, and checks the time. 11 o'clock AM. Growling, Lily throws a handful of floo powder into the fireplace, and shouts, Sirius's Place! (Sirius had bought a flat in London, and with little imagination had called it Sirius's Place.)

Lily steps into the floo, and stumbles across Sirius, who is lying, passed out of the floor.

Lily grabs her wand and shouts, "Aguamenti!" With a cough and splutter, Sirius is awake.

"Lily?" He groans weakly. "Why...huh?"

"Where is James?" Lily scowls. "I have been waiting for him all night long, you tell him to get his backside out here or I will cut off his antlers!" Ok so that wasn't the best insult I could think of, but...in the heat of the moment it'll do. Lily thinks wryly to herself.

Sirius looks at her confused. "Lily...James isn't here."

Lily pales. "Wha-what? But...he isn't at Remus or Peter's either!"

Sirius's gaze darkens. They both exchange a look, and leap for the floo. Ever since the war, rogue Death Eaters that haven't been captured have become a threat, and since their main target is people like Lily and James (who helped bring about the Dark Lord's downfall), a warning was issued that they should keep their wands on them at all times, and ward their houses against any possible threats.

Lily and Sirius step out of the fireplace, and as if in an unspoken agreement, both begin scouring the house for any possible clues. Lily starts in the living room, to see if perhaps there are any signs of struggle. She was to tired last night to really look at her surroundings, so she's afraid she might have missed something.

But there's nothing wrong. Everything seems to be in place, nothing ruined or kicked over. Lily's worst fear, that James might have been kidnapped- is obviously not what happened.

And then Sirius calls her. He's in Lily and James's bedroom, and so Lily, fearing the worst (as she had slept on the sofa the night before waiting for James), runs up the stairs.

What greets her is Sirius's ashen face, and a crumpled piece of parchment paper.

She grabs it, and her whole world comes crashing down.

Lily,

My darling Lily. You are the girl I've chased since fourth year, the seemingly unattainable girl that I could never get. Do you remember all those love letters I sent you? "Your hair burns like the fire deep inside my heart…" Yeah, I was pretty cliche, wasn't I?

If I were to write you a love letter again, it would probably say that you are...well you're Lily. I love the way you read your books, your forehead all scrunched up and eyes flicking back and forth, never going away from the page. How when you yell at me, I just love you even more, because it shows that you actually care that I wasn't back in time for dinner, or that I didn't kiss you goodbye, or whatever made your famous temper flare. When you sleep, you often kick me in the legs, and it hurts like hell. But I don't care, because it's you that's kicking me, and even if I have to cast a protego charm on my legs each night, its worth it, being able to sleep next to you, and watch you snore. Yeah, you didn't know you did that either, did you? Alice told me that they would cast charms on your bed each night just to….look I'm going off subject here, aren't I?

God, Lily please forgive me for what I'm about to say. It's the hardest thing I've ever done in my entire life.

I can't stay with you anymore, Lils.

Merlin, I know it sounds horrible, and unjustified, but I don't think you understand. I know I just wrote you a love letter, proclaiming my love, and telling you how wonderful you are but...god I just can't do this anymore!

This little home life that we have is...is….

During the war I saw so many things, Lily. Things you wouldn't even dream of witnessing. I have nightmares, every night, of the dead coming back and telling me, "It's all your fault that we died…" And I can't help but think that maybe they're right! I mean, I'm here with you, loving you, and you loving me, and GOD I just can't,

Lily, I'm doing this for you, and for me. You'll find someone better, someone who isn't as scarred as me. I need to find myself, if that makes any goddamn sense. I need to forget the war, and with you, I can't. You were by my side during it, and just being with you reminds me every single day that I killed and fought and- god Lily I'm sorry I'm so so so sorry but I can't be with you anymore! I want to find someone who will understand what I've been through, who will help heal those scars. And you can't do that Lily.

I hate myself for this Lily, but I'll never be myself when I'm with you.

Sirius, Peter, Remus...I'm sorry mates. It was good while it lasted. I know I'm a fucking bastard for doing this, but I have got to get out of Britain, away from everything and everyone.

Goodbye.

Love,

James, Prongs, Jamie, or whatever you want to call me. Please, I'm sorry.

Lily clutches the letter, and when she feels Sirius's arms envelop her, she lets go. The two of them sink down to the ground, sobbing.

* * *

1989

"Shhh Lils, I'm sorry I really am shhhhh…"

Lily backs away from this man, this apparition, this cruel, cruel ghost.

"You...you…" Her wand arm is shaking. She fights to control it.

"It's me!" The man practically shouts. He still hasn't entered the house, but Lily is still backing away, her eyes not once leaving his wet and shivering form.

"How...how do I know…"

"Lily…" Only now does he cross the doorway. "Lily, it's me."

"James…"

"James, Jamie, Prongs or whatever you want to call me." He offers with a crooked grin, one that Lily hasn't seen in years- only in the photos that she lets her fingers brush over, every now and then.

Lily sinks to the floor.

She got her wish this year. His arms circle her shivering form, and despite the fact that he's creating puddles on the floor, Lily leans into his embrace. His arms are there this year- but he doesn't tell her that it was a dream.

Because everything is so so so real.

James, why did you come back?

Why?

Why did you come back, James?

And Lily knows that now she's in for one hell of a journey.


	2. I can't live without you

1989

She got her wish this year. His arms circle her shivering form, and despite the fact that he's creating puddles on the floor, Lily leans into his embrace. His arms are there this year- but he doesn't tell her that it was a dream.

Because everything is so so so real.

James, why did you come back?

Why?

Why did you come back, James?

And Lily knows that now she's in for one hell of a journey.

And then it hits her.

James.

Is.

Back.

The same James that left her to deal with his mess, his crying mother, his heartbroken father.

She could still picture the look on Fleamont's face- asking, did you drive him away? Were you the one to make us lose our only son? Lily still isn't on good terms with the Potters, and it was ALL BECAUSE OF HIM!

With a cry, Lily pushes herself out of James's arms. What is she doing? This is the man that made her miserable for years, that ruined her life, her only chance of happiness. For god's sake, she has a husband now!

"Lily?" There is a questioning note in James's voice, and lightning illuminates the living room once again.

Lily stands up, and dusts off her clothing. She's trembling with fury- she can't believe the gall of it all.

"Get out." Lily says. "Get out of my house."

James is still sitting on the floor, a puddle around him. He looks very lost, and Lily feels a pang of pity. She quickly pushes it away, and stays strong.

"I...what?"

"How dare you come back here." Lily says, quietly. "How dare you actually walk through the door, and have the audacity to...to touch me!" Lily can still feel a few tears sliding down her face.

James hugs himself, and Lily notices that his lips are blue. It is November after all. Lily freezes- and grabs a blanket off the sofa, and drops it unceremoniously on his head.

"There you go." She says, grumpily.

"What about a warming charm?" James says, hopefully. "Or maybe just a drying charm-"

Lily silences him with a scornful look, and then grabs her wand which is lying on the floor. She waves her wand, and a silencing charm envelops the room. She knows that though her husband is a notoriously sound sleeper, she is sure that there will be even more yelling- and not even he can sleep through whatever fury Lily will unleash upon James Potter.

"Stay here." She commands. Lily then stomps over to the floo, and grabs some of the sparkly green powder.

"Black Manor!" She shouts, and steps through quickly.

"Sirius!" She yells. "Sirius, get your furry ass down here!" Lily shakes her head and lets out a slightly hysterical laugh. "This'll probably kill you!" She glances at the house around her, sighing slightly. Sirius's house is rather extravagant, if not slightly over the top, but Lily has good memories in this slightly pompous manor that Sirius purchased when he was twenty.

There's a bounding on the stairs, and Lily groans. "Max, go back to sleep." She really doesn't want to deal with the little boy at the moment. He has the most horrible penchant of getting Lily into the worst situations.

"But I want to see!" A little boy of five is standing on the bottom stair, his messy black hair hanging into his sleepy eyes. "And Daddy might be….indisposed at the moment." He grins mischievously. Lily rolls his eyes, knowing that most likely another one of Max's pranks was currently the thing that Sirius was indisposed because of.

"Max, go tell your father to get down here right now. And what are you doing up? It's two o'clock in the morning!"

"I'm not tired Aunt Lily…."

"Tell him Prongs is back." Lily decides to get straight to the point.

Max eyes Lily curiously. "Prongs? Who's that?"

Lily grimaces. Sirius refuses to talk of James, saying that the James that abandoned Lily and his parents wasn't the James he used to know. Therefore, his own five year old son, who was probably going to become the next terror of Hogwarts, didn't even know the name 'Prongs'. Sirius referred to his once-best friend as 'the other one'. It could prove to be very awkward sometimes, especially when Max enquired after the name of the famous 'other one'.

"Just tell him 'Prongs-Is-Back." Lily stats firmly. She ignores the slight skip in the beat of her heart when she finally registers the sentence she just told Max. She can still feel the dried tears on her face, and quickly berates herself for being so weak in front of James.

"Ok Aunt Lily.." Max quickly gives her a hug and beams up at her. "But don't get mad if Daddy comes down with green horns ok? I don't want him to know about them just yet."

Lily glances back nervously at the fireplace. She needs to get back to her house as soon as possible, because who knows what might have happened in the few minutes she'd spent here. James could have wrecked unfixable havoc by now! He seems to do that a lot. Lily thinks sourly. Not just in houses, but also in certain people's lives.

"Yes Max." Lily says, looking back down at the curly haired child. She smiles slightly, and kisses the top of his head.

Max bounds back up the stairs, and Lily waits for another unbearable 30 seconds, before she hears a loud BANG. Sirius comes flying down the stairs, and atop of his own black messy curls that Max seems to have inherited, are some green horns. However, Lily quickly forgets the said humorous horns, when she sees the rage in Sirius's yes.

"Where is he?" Sirius shouts. "Tell me where he is!" Lily stepped back slightly, and Sirius swings towards the fireplace. Lily hears Sirius muttering, but all she can make out is, "That bloody….bastard….gonna kill….rip him into little tiny dog bite sized morsels…..TEN YEARS!"

Lily tries to alert him about the green horns, by scratching the top of her own head rather inconspicuously, but Sirius is too busy ranting about James. With a sigh, she throws the green powder into Sirius's rather grand fireplace, and shouts, with an exasperated look at Sirius, "The Lair of the Demon Woman!" (Sirius had keyed his floo to go to Lily's house with the name of The Lair of the Demon Woman, a prank that he found rather hysterical. Lily, on the other hand, did not.)

She lands back in her house, where James is sitting on the sofa- the prat had made himself a cup of tea!

"What do you think you're doing?" Lily asks, her eyes flashing. "Did I say you could go into my kitchen?"

James cowers slightly, but then straightens up. "Where'd you go?" He asks, changing the subject. He puts the cup of tea down, and Lily growls. Then, she remembers.

Lily smirks. "Oh, you'll see." This'll be good….She thinks. Finally...some ass kicking that James deserves. Despite the smug though, Lily frowns. Why...after all these years? It still hasn't sunk in.

As if on cue, the floo flares, and Sirius dramatically jumps onto Lily's carpet.

"Padfoot?" James gasps, and for some odd reason his face is completely white.

And the fire in Sirius's eyes dies out. "Prongs." He says, hoarsely. "Where the hell have you been?"

And it's as if a trigger is pulled. Both men run towards each other, hugging, laughing, shouting. Lily's glad she put up the silencing charm, but for some reason she feels sad. This is the moment she's dreamed of for years, but she's just so damn angry.

However, it is when Lily sees the tears flowing down both men's faces, that she starts to feel slightly put-off. And curious. A whole spectrum of emotions is flowing through Lily as she watches the man she was in love with cry his eyes out. He and Sirius are clutching each other on the floor, and both are babbling.

"I'm sorry-"

"Where the hell have you been?" Sirius repeats.

"I just-"

"I can't-"

Lily sighs wearily. "Look, you two." Sirius and James's heads snap up. "Perhaps you should go back to Black Manor. I need to go to sleep and well-" She raises her eyebrows meaningfully at Sirius. "I've important stuff to do."

James gets up, brushes his pants. Lily realises that they look rather threadbare, which is very unlike the James she knew.

"I thought I would stay here?"

Lily feels her face getting red. Sirius, recognizing the warning signs, backs away.

"And tell me, James, why on Earth would I allow you to stay in my home?"

James blinks owlishly, and adjusts his glasses. "I- well it's kinda still my house as well."

Lily curses. She forgot about their house in Godric's Hollow still technically being in James's name.

"I- well- LOOK YOU CAN'T STAY HERE JAMES!" Lily yells.

James grins. "And why would that be?"

Lily's face just gets redder. "Because it isn't right! For you just to walk in here, and...and…"

James takes a step forward. "Lily, I've got a lot of explaining to do, I know. But I've finally figured it out?"

Lily's temper is near exploding. "And tell me, what would take you 10 years to bloody figure out?"

James is closing in her, slowly. "I know I was an arse, Lily, but I needed time."

"So is a decade good enough for you then? Or perhaps do you need another 10, 15 years?" Lily says, sarcastically.

James continues. "But I realised, that there was one thing I couldn't live without, all those years. I was miserable, without that one thing."

Lily can feel James's breath on her face. She can see his hazel eyes perfectly, and she can't help but shiver. He's grown older. She thinks, absentmindedly. I have as well, but he looks...older. She fights the urge to run her hands through his black hair, just like she'd done so many times when they had been together.

"Tell me what was that one thing?" Lily says, trying to meet James's eyes and not stare at the floor instead.

"You." The word is basically a whisper, and Lily just freezes, as his lips descend onto her. It's automatic, her kissing him back, because this is James.

But then she realises.

This is James.

With a cry, she slaps him on the face, and jumps back pressing a hand to her lips. James clutches the side of his face, and Sirius who had been standing awkwardly in the corner, rushes forward to James's aid.

"What was that for?" James says, annoyed.

"JAMES POTTER YOU ASS!" Lily screams. "You can't just come back here after 10 years and expect everything to be hunky-dory between the two of us! You left me, a week before our wedding! I had to deal with everything, my heartbreak, our friends heartbreak, your parents heartbreak. And then, after all that, it took me a long time to actually deal with the fact that YOU HAD LEFT ME! And what, do you think that my life hasn't gone on without you? Do you think that I've just been pining away for James Potter, all these years? Remember this, because trust me when I say this because it is the absolute truth, but I hate you." There is such venom in her voice, that James flinches.

"I-"

"Lily what's going on?" A deep voice sounds behind Lily, and she flinches.

"Oh god, darling I didn't think you'd be up!" Lily apologizes, and suddenly she's so exhausted, all she wants to do is go to her husband and just cry.

"You?" James says, looking at the man in the shadows. "Who are you?"

Severus Snape comes into the light of the sitting room. His hair is no longer greasy, but tied in a short ponytail. He's so different from the young boy that James had bullied all those years ago. And James doesn't recognize him.

"Sirius." Severus nods at the shaken man who is still holding James's shoulders. 

Sirius inclines his head. "Sorry about all of this. But I think Lily can explain it better to you than me."

Lily leans on Severus, tired. "Well, that's James." She says, exhausted. She points at the said man.

"Ah. So he's finally decided to return?" There's a hint of a sneer in Severus's voice.

"It seems so." Lily puts her arms around Severus's waist, and closes her eyes. More than anything she just wants to cry, with Severus's arms around her, just cry.

"Like I said, who are you?" James repeats.

Lily can't help but chuckle weakly. "James, this is my husband."

James recoils, and goes pale. "Ah."

"Severus-"

"Snape?" There is an incredulous cry from James. "You married Snape?"

Lily glances at James. It's hard not to let the overwhelming feeling of loss and love overcome her, as she looks into his eyes. "Yes, James. I married Snape. It's-It's Lily Snape."

Lily glances at Severus, and can't help but sigh as she notices the gleeful expression in his eyes. He's been dreaming about this for years. Lily thinks, tiredly.

"I…" James is speechless, and his eyes flicker to Lily. "I thought...but she told me?" The last phrase is more of a mutter, and Lily frowns.

"Who told you what?"

James waves her question away. "Nothing. Nothing. Sirius, can I stay at yours then? I...I'm not ready to face Mum and Dad yet." There's an obvious tremble in his voice, and there's a small part in Lily that just wants to run to him and cry. But Severus is right there, her Severus, her husband.

Sirius nods encouragingly at James. "Sure Prongs. 'Night Sev, night Lils. James, the name is Black Manor, ok?" He guides James to the floo, and it is only then that Lily notices a large gash in James's leg.

"Wait- James what happened to your leg?"

James glances down. "Oh god." He mutters. "So it did hit me then."

He throws in a handful of green powder into the fireplace, and soon he's gone in a swirl of green flames.

Lily puts a hand on Sirius's shoulder just before he leaves. "Sirius...don't tell him just yet, ok?" She bites her lip. "I'm sorry."

Sirius gives her a bear hug. "This is going to be hard, Lily. You've got a choice, and you know it." He whispers in her ear.

Lily nods, and pushes him towards the fireplace. "Goodnight."

"Night."

Soon Sirius is gone, and Lily spins around, and meets Severus's unreadable eyes.

"Come here." The voice is soft. Lily rushes towards Severus, sobbing. She buries her head in his chest, and feels his hand stroking her hair.

"Why now? Why today?"

Severus studies Lily's eyes. "I don't know, darling. And by the way-" He snorts. "Happy anniversary."

Lily chuckles weakly. "What a wonderful day."

Severus leads her up the stairs. "Come on. Let's go back to bed. It's only two."

As Lily crawls back into her bed, with Severus's arms around her, she can't help but curse James Potter.

God, you can't ever just make things easy, can you? And with that, Lily slips into the dreamworld.

* * *

Ok, so there is the second chapter whoo hoo! Just a reminder, this is a James/Lily story, but of course, there is also major Snape/Lily. Who knows who'll she really end up with in the end? ;)


	3. Harry

**Ok, so I have made some edits. Everything has been moved up three years or so. James has now left Lily in the year 1979.**

* * *

The ring twists on her finger, the gold catching in the sun, glinting, shining. It's supposed to be a symbol of happiness, and to a certain extent it is for her. But those eyes, those warm brown eyes just flash before her eyes causing her to feel pain as if a sword were being shoved directly into her gut. _I miss you_ she thinks every time she sees them. _Why can't you_ _ **really**_ _be here?_

A grimace twists her features, and the sword twists deeper, wrenching her insides, causing her to choke on the champagne she's drinking.

"Lily- are you ok?"

"Yes." The word is fake, full of sunshine and meadows, but he doesn't know that she's dying at the moment from the utter _pain_ she's feeling and guilt. Because everything here is a lie, this isn't _what she wanted_ she wanted something more, something that was real-

"James-"

* * *

 _1980_

Lily gasps, and wakes up from her dream. Every night, it gets more vivid. Even though it'd been 6 months or so, after he'd left, Lily still feels the pain. How he left her- why why why why why why?

Lily turns over on her side, and reaches an arm out tiredly. She fumbles around in her drawer, and grasps the bottle. Licking her lips slightly, Lily drowns the dreamless sleep potion, and rubs her stomach.

 _6 months pregnant._

That's what Lily was.

 _With his baby._

That's why Lily crys.

* * *

 _1980, July 31st_

Lily has a difficult pregnancy.

She goes to the doctor, but the words just float around in her head, and so she turns to her family for help. Her father pushes her to give the baby up for adoption, but Lily can't help but love the small child growing inside of her. It's a reminder of James, a small piece of him, that Lily has saved.

Sirius is always by her side, and of course, the two of them growing closer. Sirius becomes Lily's life saver, her best friend. They pick out names together, and Lily feels a growing excitement as her due date grows nearer.

When Lily goes into labor, Sirius is by her side, helping her, and soon they are both cradling a small baby boy, grinning like idiots.

"Thank you, Sirius." Lily whispers, tears in her eyes. "I couldn't have done this without you."

"What's his name? Harry, right?"

"Harry Ja-" Lily stops. She had previously wanted Harry James, to remind her of James even though he was gone.

"Harry Sirius Evans. I was going to name him James, but- you've been my life saver, Sirius. Would you...would you consider being Harry's godfather?" Lily asks while gazes down at the beautiful baby. He opens his eyes, and Lily wants to cry when she sees his eyes. Emerald green.

Sirius is speechless, for once, just nods, and happily beams when he holds the baby. Lily falls asleep, the name _Harry, Harry, Harry_ whispering in her mind.

And her life brightens, not just a tad, not just a little bit, but by a whole gigantic bucket of sunshine that is Harry. Once Harry is a year old, Lily starts on her Healer degree, determined to get a job that will provide Harry with the lifestyle he deserves.

When Harry is around one and a half years old, Sirius persuades her to _get back out in the world, Lils, get laid for god's sake you're turning into a nun!_

So Lily albeit reluctantly, and goes on a date with Amos Diggory, whose wife died in the war a few years before. She's happy with Amos, but of course the fire and passion that was there with James is absent in that relationship. However, Cedric and Harry get on famously, despite the age difference, and she grows to care for Amos. They help each other to heal from the wounds left by the war and by grief, and Lily stops thinking about hazel eyes and messy black hair.

However, when Amos proposes after a year of being together, Lily declines, because she knows in her heart that she and Amos are not right for each other, that they never will be. Amos is heartbroken, and Lily cries herself to sleep again at night. Without Amos's arms around her each night, nightmares taunt her, and when she sees Amos again, briefly at Sirius's house warming party, she knows that the nightmares are back again for him as well. And although it's tempting, to go back to the familiarity and safety, she knows she'll never be happy, married to Amos.

Harry misses Cedric immensely, who, bless his soul, always had time for the pestering of two year old Harry. So Lily organizes a playdate for him, with a lady she met at the three broomsticks, who has a son Harry's age. Soon Harry and Ron are glued to the hip, and Lily has found a close confidant in Molly Weasley.

"What you need is someone who you are attracted to at the very first glance." Molly says, her knitting needles clacking away. "I had that with Arthur, and of course, you had that with- well…."

"James." Lily smiles softly, letting Molly know it's alright to talk about him. "I had a major crush on him, first year. Of course, then our famous feud came about, and….well for me it was just the fact that I hated that he was bullying Sev, so I denied any attraction whatsoever. But yes, I suppose you are right."

"Stop going for the safe options. I mean really- Peter Pettigrew?" Molly asks wryly.

Lily blushes. A month ago, she'd gone on a date with Peter, who had apparently had a huge crush on her. It had been a disaster. Lily had always thought of the bumbling man as a brother, so when he had sloppily tried to kiss her at the end of the night, Lily had backed away in horror.

"Poor Peter." Lily sighs. "I just don't…."

"Want to get your heart broken again." Molly finishes.

Lily sighs. "That and I need to do what's best for Harry. James took up all my attention, I could barely concentrate on anything else. I was so in love. My- our- whole world revolved around each other. In the beginning, any way. And with Harry...I don't have the time, nor the need to fall so crazily in love again."

Molly shifts in her seat, the knitting needles clacking faster. "Sounds like we have a crisis on our hands. To be honest, you either re-visit an old flame, or get out of here. Every man from Hogsmeade to Diagon Alley knows you, Lily. Our little world is too small for a girl like you. And...well what about a muggle?"

Lily shifts her gaze over to Molly, surprised. "You mean- I date a muggle?"

Molly shrugs. "Well it's not common, but why not give it a shot?"

Lily scoffs- but then reconsiders. "I'll think about it." She muses, and at that moment Harry runs over, his chubby fists waving in the air, and her romantic problems disappear like a snuffed out candle.

* * *

Lily nervously adjusts her dress. It's a new one, from a muggle store, more appropriate for this occasion than her wizarding robes would be. After all, she is going on a date with one muggle, one Mr. Prince.

"Are you ready?" Her cousin, Anne squeals. After a lot of reluctant internal debating Lily asked Anne to recommend a man. Since Lily isn't really on good terms with Petunia, and she's lost touch with most of her muggle friends, her overly hyper cousin Anne was the only one to go to. She's the same age as Lily, with auburn hair and a sweet disposition. Anne, of course, has no idea who Lily really is, but quickly came up with _the perfect man for you, Lily._

"His name is Thomas Prince, and he lives quite close to your old house actually. He's got a bit of a sarcastic humor on him, but I know that you like any kind of humor on a man. He's intelligent, works part-time at the Apothecary actually- only on the weekends, however. During the week, he's god knows where. Nobody gets a whiff of him! It's like he's in a completely different part of the world!" More high pitched squealing.

Lily nods absentmindedly, adjusting the green dress once again. It's a deep emerald green that Anne helped her pick out. _It'll go perfectly with your eyes!_ Lily sighs. It's a very nice dress, Lily admits to herself, and she looks nice in it.

"And well. He's not your typical handsome man, but he's got these mysterious eyes- if I wasn't engaged to Greg I would be going after him myself!" Anne laughs, and Lily smiles at her. "I won't give too much away- but I think you'll like him."

The doorbell rings. "Oh that must be him!" Anne squeals again, and Lily flushes nervously. "Don't worry dearie, you look wonderful. I'm so excited!" Anne bounces down the stairs, and Lily takes a while to compose herself. It's going to be a different experience, trying to hide the fact that she is a witch, but maybe, just maybe, she'll...end up being happy.

She can hear the high pitched giggles of Anne, and a deeper voice chuckling. She takes a deep breath and walks downstairs.

The man's back is turned away from her, so she doesn't see his face straight away. But he turns around, and Lily is suddenly taken aback by the sense of familiarity in his face.

"Lily?" The man seems to gasp, and her name is more high pitched than what his voice sounded like from upstairs.

"Yes- er- hi...um I'm Lily?" Lily blushes. Thomas Prince is a handsome man, not typically so, but handsome. His hair is tied back by a...ribbon? He has high cheekbones, and Lily finds herself suddenly more invested in this date, because...well he is rather handsome.

"I-" Thomas seems to stare at her. "I'm Thomas." He says, and he keeps on staring at her in that odd way.

Anne squeals again, and Thomas's eyes flicker back to Anne. "Yes, so this is Lily Evans, my cousin."

"Lily Evans? I don't think you even told me her name before this date." A chuckle rumbles up from Thomas's throat.

Anne looks practically mortified. "I didn't? Oh gosh, I must have been so wrapped up in getting you two to meet- wait Lily I did tell you his name, didn't I?"

"Er- yes Anne don't worry, Thomas...Prince, am I right?"

"Yes." For some reason Thomas seems to find this amusing. "Well I suppose we should make a move on. For that dinner." He sticks his arm out.

"Ah- yes." Lily takes the proffered arm, and together they make their way out of the house.

"Sorry about Anne- she's just excited that her role as a matchmaker is actually working out." Lily says, laughing slightly.

"Yes, well she's been trying to set me up for ages." Thomas looks down at Lily, and again, Lily feels like she's met Thomas before.

They walk to the restaurant, and Lily finds herself at ease with Thomas. They make small talk, and Lily finds herself having fun, masking up what she does for a living and making it muggle-appropriate.

"So, what do you work as?"

"Oh, well I work at the hospital- erm, not here but a small one over in London. I'm a doctor there."

Which was true. After Lily got her potions degree, she became eligible to become a healer. Once Harry had turned one, she'd gone and gotten her Healer degree, which had taken two years. It had been a quicker process for Lily, since she had a high level potions mastery, opposed to the simple pass that most Healers had in a potions degree. And just over a month ago, Lily had started her job at St. Mungos.

"And what about you?" Lily asks.

"I work part-time at the Apothecary down on the main street. And during the week I travel to London, where I have a larger...um- my own sort of medicine factory."

"Oh! So you own a company then?"

"No- well I suppose, but it's a small factory, specialises in herbal medicines."

They both lapse into what could only be described as a comfortable silence. Once they reach the restaurant, however, and both sit down, Lily can't help herself.

"I'm sorry. I have to ask this. Have we- have we met before?"

Thomas Prince looks up at her. His face darkens slightly, and Lily is taken aback by the raw _hurt_ in his eyes.

"It's funny, Lily. Yes. Yes we have."

Lily scrunches up her forehead. "I'm sorry but I don't remember you." She chuckles, slightly nervously.

"Really, Lils? Given that I was your best friend for most of your childhood, it's slightly hurtful that you don't recognize me." He gets up from his chair, anger and disappointment clear on his face.

And Lily gasps as she recognizes him.

"Sev?"

Severus nods.

"Why are you..."

"Here? Because I didn't know your name, Lily, and I was hoping for someone who was normal, and didn't know me. Someone outside of the wizarding world who doesn't know the nickname Snivellus. But of course, I get Lily fucking Evans, my former best friend." Severus's face is flushed, and he sneers.

Lily is taken aback by his sudden anger. "Why did you pretend to be someone else then, in the beginning?"

"Because I thought maybe you would recognize me- or maybe you were playing a joke!"

"I'm sorry Sev, it's just that you look so different-"

"Look, Lily, I was hoping for someone who was definitely not you." There is a strange expression on Severus's face. "I swear, somewhere something is laughing at me..." He trails off. "Look, Lily, we parted on bad terms, and I'd rather not spend this lovely Friday rehashing all the mistakes I've ever made." And with that, Severus storms out of the resturant, leaving a bewildered Lily.

* * *

 _1989_

"Mummy! Daddy!" A little ball of energy catapults itself onto Lily and Severus's bed.

"Harry what have we told you about waking us up before 8?" Severus groans.

"But Daddy I'm hungry!" Lily opens her eyes to see Harry snuggling next to Severus, a small pout forming on his face.

"Alright Snitch, get downstairs and I'll make you some pancakes then." Severus says, using his nickname for Harry. Lily has to laugh slightly- Severus can't resist Harry's pout.

"Mummy, get up!" Harry says, and she feels a tug on her hand. "Family breakfast!" He crows.

Severus looks down at Lily, a mischievous smirk on his face. "Yes Lily, family breakfast!" He picks Harry up and the two of them look down at Lily, identical grins on their faces.

"But it's only 7:30…." Lily croaks. "I don't want to get up!"

But she does. And all of last night's memories come rushing back to her. "Sev-"

"I know Lily. But it's ok, we'll figure it out." Severus says softly, and Lily notices how his hold on Harry tightens slightly and his face whitens.

"Sev…" She feels her lower lip trembling. "Don't worry, no one can take Harry away from you."

Harry looks between the two of them, at Severus whose face is morose and at Lily who wants to do nothing more but punch James.

"Daddy?"

"Sorry Snitch, let's go make those pancakes, ey?" Severus looks down at the son of his rival, the son of the man he despises, his face full of love. Harry is a mini replica of James, from his messy hair, to the heavy black glasses that tilt sideways on his nose. But neither of them could care less, because Harry is Severus's son, through and through.

Lily follows the pair, her mind whirling.

 _Stay away from Harry, James._

 **Alright there we go. Sorry that it took so long, but I had to make a few edits and stuff.**


	4. Severus and Lily

**Here is the next chapter! AND PLEASE REVIEW :)**

* * *

 _1983_

Lily runs after Thomas- no Sev, she reminds herself, mind whirling. How could she not have recognized him? Then again, he'd changed so much from the awkward gawky youth she was so familiar with. Lily blushed. He'd definitely grown up. While he wasn't classically handsome, he did clean up nicely, she had to admit.

"Sev- Sev wait!" Lily gasps, and the tall figure in front of her stops. They're standing on a bridge, and her breath fogs in the icy air. "I'm so sorry Sev, please I just didn't recognize you!"

Severus turns around, and Lily is taken aback by the fierce expression in his eyes. "I've spent years- _years Lily_ trying to get away from everything that was Hogwarts. I even started working here in a muggle village in an attempt to distance myself from y- from everyone."

Lily can't help but feel slightly peeved. "And so it's my fault I didn't recognize you? Sev- we haven't seen each other in what, six years? Please, calm down."

Severus just carries on staring at her. "Gosh, wouldn't Saint Potter be absolutely furious knowing that I went on a date with his precious little Lily." A sneer curls his lips.

Lily pales slightly. "Please don't mention James, Severus."

Severus grins, but it's not a nice one. "Do you regret it Lily? Choosing him over me? Your best friend- or your boyfriend." He spits. "Whole load of shit, us being friends."

Lily gasps at the pang of hurt she feels as he says that. Sev was always her best friend, her confidant for many years, and Lily knows that despite their falling out, she'll always hold Sev dear in her heart. However, her famous temper flares, and she takes a step forward,eyes flashing.

"Yeah, it was, wasn't it?" Lily says, softly. "And why did we stop being friends, huh Sev? What exactly was the catalyst?"

Severus sneers, although his eyes have lost some of it's venom. "I called you a mudblood, Lily. And it was a mistake, and I apologised. I regretted it, but you still chose that arrogant…." Severus stops, clearly unable to go on. "You chose _him_ over me."

"You think that I choose James over you, Sev? Let me tell you this, you stopped being my friend ages before you called me a mudblood. You think I never knew about those secret little meetings you would have with your Death Eater friends? I remember- one day, I accidentally stumbled across one, while looking for you. Nobody noticed, but you know what I heard you say? That I meant nothing to you Sev. You agreed with them, you never ever stood up for me. You chose the kind of people who wanted to kill me over your best friend."

Lily is breathing heavily by the end of her tirade, and Sev suddenly looks repentant.

"Lily…"

"Go away, Sev. Obviously you still can never admit when you are wrong. Yes, maybe I lashed out a bit hard about the whole you calling me a mudblood, and if it had just been that I could have forgiven you in time. But that afternoon, when I heard you jeering about mudbloods and blood traitors with your friends, I knew I'd lost you. God, Sev, you swore allegiance to the Dark Lord! And me, your best friend, I just was nothing to you Sev!"

"And Sev, I never chose James. But…" Lily has to swallow the lump in her throat.

"I never had a choice, see? I'd been in love with him for god knows how long- me choosing him was simply me stopping the fight against the fact that I loved him. I didn't have a choice, falling in love with James. I wish I did, because god, if I could choose anyone else, I would. James hurt me so much-" Suddenly she's aware of a tear slipping down her face. She wipes it away angrily with the back of her hand, and looks down at her shoes, unable to go on.

Sev watches her, and they stand on the snowy road together, and finally it seems as if all the hurt of the past could just be the past. Both have red rimmed eyes, and there's this moment where they just watch each other, their frozen breaths mingling in the cold air.

"Lily….I regret what I did every single day." Severus squeezes his eyes shut. "The day I called you a mudblood- the day when I realised what I had become, I went to Dumbledore. I swore allegiance to the light in the upcoming war, I….I swore I would protect you."

Lily watches him silently. "You fought in the war?"

"As a spy, yes." Severus watches her. "Lily, can we start over again?"

The next word is so quiet that she almost doesn't hear it. "Please?"

Lily takes a huge breath, and breathes out, suddenly sure of her choice. She needs to move on, and Sev is her way out of the never ending ache in her heart.

"Why don't we go inside and get a drink, Sev. We have a lot to catch up on."

* * *

 _1989_

Severus serves Harry a pancake, and then, another as Harry gives him the puppy eyes. A huge splash of syrup follows the second pancake. "Alright Harry don't eat too quickly." Severus reprimands as Harry practically inhales his food.

Lily pads into the homely kitchen of Godric's Hollow. When she married Severus, they had briefly considered moving out, because of all the bad memories. But Harry was settled here, and it was their _home_ and so all memories of a man named James soon faded away, and were replaced with the Snapes- Harry, Lily and Severus.

She gives Severus a chaste kiss on the lips, and both of them chuckle when Harry makes a face.

"So what are we doing today?" Harry asks. He stuffs another piece of pancake in his mouth, and shoves his glasses up as they slip down his nose. "Can we see Uncle Sirius?"

Severus absentmindedly ruffles Harry's hair. "Well there's been a change of plan." Severus nods at Lily. "Sirius is going to come here with Max, around 8:00 and your mother and I are going out tonight."

Harry pouts. "Why can't we go to Sirius's house? And does Max hafta come? I'm nine now- Max is only five."

"And a nine year old should know that his parents know best, and that Max may be five but that has never stopped the two of you from playing some horrendous prank on their parents." Lily says, eyeing her son. Sirius would be under strict instructions not to let James see Harry. She sighs. This was a situation she never thought she'd be in.

"Daddy?" Harry whines. Lily notices the way Severus's eyes still light up every time Harry calls him that. It's been years since Harry officially started calling Severus 'Daddy', but it still seems to warm Severus's heart.

"Listen to your mother, young man. Now go get ready, we're going to the Weasley's in an hour."

Harry's eyes widen. "Is Ron going to be there?"

"Yes of course he is, now go get dressed!"

Harry scrambles down from his chair, and runs round to give Severus and Lily a hug. "Ok!"

As Harry runs out of the room, Lily turns to Severus, and her shoulders slump. "This is the worst timing in the entire world." She mumbles, and allows herself to feel the pain that she's been blocking out all morning. "What are we going to do, Sev?"

Severus faces her, eyes flashing. "James is but a sperm donor. I'm Harry's father- he's not going to take that away from me." Severus squares his shoulders, but Lily can see the fear in his eyes.

"No, don't worry, that'll never happen. But we can't hide Harry from James forever. As much as I hate to admit it, Harry...Harry knows that you aren't his real father, and while he may consider you his dad, Harry has a right to know who James is."

Severus's face tightens. "Yes. Of course."

Lily buries her face in his chest. "Why now? Why….ever?"

Lily feels a soft kiss pressed to her hair. "Are you ok….with seeing him? Do you want to talk to him at all?"

Lily shakes her head, but her heart twinges slightly. "I….no. I don't ever want to see him again, but obviously that's not going to be possible." Lily laughs bitterly. "I never knew I was this angry at him. I was heartbroken, but never furious _at_ him. I never really registered the fact that he willingly abandoned me. Just that he left and might be dead. That was all. Weird, isn't it?"

Lily sighs. "And to be honest, I wish he were dead. So I didn't have to deal with all this crap, about how he left me, and how Harry…." Lily stops. "Sev, I don't know what to do!"

Severus's arms tighten around Lily. "I won't let him hurt you again, Lils. You are my wife, and you owe nothing to him."

Lily nods. James is nothing to her now. He broke her heart, and she doesn't ever want to see him again.

But if this is the case, why does her stomach get butterflies and she begins to feel light headed every time she pictures his rain soaked figure on her doorstep the night before?

* * *

James stares out the window of Sirius's house. "You lied to me." He says softly, and there is a glow in the window, and a woman appears. She's a black and white image, almost as if she were on a tv screen, the edges of her figure blurring as they mix into the sun.

"No, I didn't." She says, and James reaches out as if to slap her, but his hand passes right through her. She smiles at him, and it isn't at all nice.

"Why did you send me back?"

"Because she's going to need you very soon." The woman reaches out, as if to touch James, but then retracts her arm.

James sneers at her. "So what, when I get her heart again, are you going to make me break her heart again? When is this going to end? When is your sick little quest for revenge going to satisfy you? You already have me- why do you want to keep on hurting her?"

The woman stares at James. "Darling, I don't _have_ you. You chose _me,_ remember?"

"Only because I had no other choice."

"You had a choice."

"The choice you gave me was one that I could never make!" James suddenly roars.

The woman waves a pale hand, dismissing James. "You will win her heart back, James Potter."

James clutches his hair. "Why didn't you tell me she was married? What else is there that you haven't told me? Does she have any children that I'll be ripping her away from by ruining her marriage?"

The woman smiles mysteriously. "Time will tell, my dear. Time will tell."

James glowers at her. "I hate you."

"No, you love me. Say it. I love you." The woman cackles, a slight air of madness becoming apparent in her eyes.

James chokes as he tries to prevent himself from saying the words. "I….I…"

"Come on dear, don't make me increase the spell. You know how much that hurts, and I thought you liked your mind the way it was."

James ignores her. "I….I hate you!" He bursts out, triumphant.

The woman narrows her eyes. "Now we can't have that, can we?" She waves her hand, and James's eyes become blank.

"Yes, that's much better, isn't it darling?" She cooes.

"I love you." James says, no fight left in him.

"You listen to me, James Potter. You are mine. You have been mine for 10 years. Nothing is going to change that. If you even breathe a word of this to anyone, I will make you suffer, I will make your precious Lily suffer, I will make all your friends and family suffer, and then finally, I will make you stay by my side for all eternity. You know I have the power, so _don't_ test me." With another wave of her hand, James's eyes clear again, only to be filled with defeat.

"I understand." His voice is monotonous.

"Chin up darling, we don't want your precious little Padfoot finding out what you've done, now do we? Win back Lily Snape's heart. Break her marriage up, I don't care. And when you've done that, we will proceed from there. This is essential for our plan."

James nods, controlled, angry.

"I have complete control over you, James. Don't ever forget who you belong to."

The woman disappears, and James falls to his knees, and lets out a muffled cry.

 **So the plot thickens! Reviews are great by the way!**


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